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Death takes a holiday—with Orrin!

by on September 21, 2012

In a state known for its passive-aggressive culture and reality defying myth of political civility, Senate contender Scott Howell’s ageist attacks on Orrin Hatch are refreshing (which translates to “offensive” to old-line Utah politicos).

Hatch is 78 (though he reads at an 81-year-old level). Howell sent out a fundraising email that actually speculated on the probability of Orrin kicking the bucket in office:

“Look, Orrin Hatch is not a bad guy. But he’s an old guy. … We cannot risk the possibility of an 80-year-old man taking office, only to retire or die before his term is through.”

To ratchet up the offensive index even more, Howell presumptuously reminded Orrin that LDS general authorities are “released” at age 70.

Howell is challenging Hatch to release five years of medical records. (Are we ready to review at least two senatorial colonoscopies!)

Utah’s equally aged former Senator “Uncle Bob” Bennett told the Tribune‘s Tommy Burr that U.S. lawmakers, including South Carolina Sen. Strom Thurmond, live forever (or at least seem like it). But life being what it is, Bennett points out that Howell, himself, could dance a last waltz with the Grim Reaper while in office.

Apparently, nobody told Howell that besides tens of thousands of dollars in campaign contributions, Utah’s supplement industry has been dosing Orrin’s Metamucil with monkey gland extract (which, thanks to Orrin, doesn’t need FTC approval).

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